Fearing that the actions of Superman are left unchecked, Batman takes on the Man of Steel, while the world wrestles with what kind of a hero it really needs (from IMDb).
Rating:★★★☆☆
Considering how truly terrible and unwatchable I thought Man of Steel was, I had very little hope for this film when it was announced. As time went on, I only found the concept more and more ridiculous and decided I wasn't going to bother going to see it. The terrible reviews the film got when released proved my point. A friend of mine convinced me to go see it, and I'm very glad he did because this film is hilariously shit. There will be spoilers ahead, so be warned.
Batman vs Superman opens with the Metropolis disaster from Man of Steel, just an alternate version told through Bruce Wayne's eyes as he arrives in the city to help evacuate the Wayne Industries building. I applaud his bravery, I do, but why hadn't the evacuation already started? I mean, most of the workers we see are still going about their everyday duties or staring out the window watching as the city is being destroyed. This isn't the only moment of characters lacking common sense in this movie. The scene does give insight into Bruce's hatred for Superman, so I can respect what it was meant to be and it sort of worked.
But then we start moving into nonsense with Lois Lane in Africa or somewhere like that, where she is going to interview a 'bad guy'. It's obviously not important to establish who he is exactly, just that he's evil and is a dictator. Lois' line of stupid questions that would have probably gotten her shot are interrupted by the evil guy's men realising Lois' photographer is CIA, so he gets shot and some other things go down and suddenly she needs to be saved by Superman. But alas, drama outside the room Lois is being held in as some of the suspicious guards initiate a massacre of the other henchmen so no one is left alive.
All this nonsense turns out to be important, a way of kick-starting the Superman inquiry by the government in DC, but it was a really stupid plan. Lex Luthor was the one who orchestrated it all, but his ego clearly got in the way of destroying the evidence he'd been involved, such as using bullets only his research lab had access to, a money trail connecting him to the men in the desert. Mistakes that he shouldn't have made, as Lex is supposedly a highly intelligent man. They were only made to make Lois slightly useful to the plot, and I'm resentful of that.
The entire movie, Lois just seems to get in the way. She is there to hammer the point home Clark has a double life, because he obviously does no actual reporting bar showing up at one press event. She is just so genuinely useless, and almost drowns herself trying to fetch a kryptonite spear from a pool that she put there in the first place. She is so different to the much more three-dimensional Diana Prince, who is only on screen for about seven minutes of the entire film, but easily conveys her true kick-ass nature.
Superman is just so mopey in this film, and that's obviously what you go to a superhero film to see; sad superheros and lots of governmental discussions. He was more useful in this than in Man of Steel, and actually far more bearable to watch, but since I hated Man of Steel so much it wasn't hard. Batman is exactly the same; just so angry, for no reason. I get he needs someone to blame for the destruction of Metropolis, the horrors he saw, but to blame Superman and decide in that moment he's going to spend the next couple years of his life trying to kill him does seem a little bit extreme to me. Cavill and Affleck did have some chemistry in their scenes together, which was something, but the script was so appalling nothing ever really hit the right mark. When they bonded over both their mothers being called Martha, I wanted to laugh so much. What a dumb thing to bond over. But suddenly they're bros and fight together to save the world.
Wonder Woman is easily the best thing about this film, as she is just so truly awesome. I was so surprised how well Gadot fell into the role, but she feels right for the character. Will definitely be seeing the Wonder Woman movie coming out in 2017, even if I give the other Justice League movies a miss. She was just a really fascinating character in this movie, and never hindered the plot or the action which is frequently what women are written to do in action movies. She keeps up with the boys, puts them to shame for the majority of it and that's just something refreshing.
I was surprised that I sort of enjoyed Ben Affleck as Batman. He was terrible, truly terrible, but there was something about him that conveyed the unstable nature of a billionaire who would spend his time dressed up as a bat fighting crime. Plus he dressed very well. There was one particular scene in the abandoned Wayne manor where he was standing near a fireplace (I think) and he had a very well-fitted coat on and I almost thought he was hot. But the Bat-suit he creates to fight Superman is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. I mean, he looks like a really grumpy cat wearing it (see above). Was not a fan, at all. But his other Bat-suit wasn't that bad looking in comparison, so maybe that's what they were going for.
All in all, the funniest film I've seen in a long time that was not made for that purpose at all. I will of course be buying it and watching it again. Any hopes of the Justice League movies being good are pretty low, not gonna lie. But we'll see.
But then we start moving into nonsense with Lois Lane in Africa or somewhere like that, where she is going to interview a 'bad guy'. It's obviously not important to establish who he is exactly, just that he's evil and is a dictator. Lois' line of stupid questions that would have probably gotten her shot are interrupted by the evil guy's men realising Lois' photographer is CIA, so he gets shot and some other things go down and suddenly she needs to be saved by Superman. But alas, drama outside the room Lois is being held in as some of the suspicious guards initiate a massacre of the other henchmen so no one is left alive.
The entire movie, Lois just seems to get in the way. She is there to hammer the point home Clark has a double life, because he obviously does no actual reporting bar showing up at one press event. She is just so genuinely useless, and almost drowns herself trying to fetch a kryptonite spear from a pool that she put there in the first place. She is so different to the much more three-dimensional Diana Prince, who is only on screen for about seven minutes of the entire film, but easily conveys her true kick-ass nature.Superman is just so mopey in this film, and that's obviously what you go to a superhero film to see; sad superheros and lots of governmental discussions. He was more useful in this than in Man of Steel, and actually far more bearable to watch, but since I hated Man of Steel so much it wasn't hard. Batman is exactly the same; just so angry, for no reason. I get he needs someone to blame for the destruction of Metropolis, the horrors he saw, but to blame Superman and decide in that moment he's going to spend the next couple years of his life trying to kill him does seem a little bit extreme to me. Cavill and Affleck did have some chemistry in their scenes together, which was something, but the script was so appalling nothing ever really hit the right mark. When they bonded over both their mothers being called Martha, I wanted to laugh so much. What a dumb thing to bond over. But suddenly they're bros and fight together to save the world.
I was surprised that I sort of enjoyed Ben Affleck as Batman. He was terrible, truly terrible, but there was something about him that conveyed the unstable nature of a billionaire who would spend his time dressed up as a bat fighting crime. Plus he dressed very well. There was one particular scene in the abandoned Wayne manor where he was standing near a fireplace (I think) and he had a very well-fitted coat on and I almost thought he was hot. But the Bat-suit he creates to fight Superman is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. I mean, he looks like a really grumpy cat wearing it (see above). Was not a fan, at all. But his other Bat-suit wasn't that bad looking in comparison, so maybe that's what they were going for. All in all, the funniest film I've seen in a long time that was not made for that purpose at all. I will of course be buying it and watching it again. Any hopes of the Justice League movies being good are pretty low, not gonna lie. But we'll see.
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